Unpleasant Part II

Oh, and speaking of unpleasant topics... I've realized that since we're having a boy, most of the incredibly awkward parent-child conversations will fall to me. Crazy, huh?

The Unpleasant Topics

So now that we know it's a boy, we're able to focus our planning and prep. Everyone keeps telling us that we're lucky; that boys are so much easier than girls. Not that I know, but I tend to agree. However, that doesn't mean that boys don't come with their own set of issues that will have to be dealt with.

Like circumcision. I hadn't given this a lot of thought until recently. When Claire and I were in DC last year, we encountered a group of anti-circumcision protesters outside of the capitol. Like most DC protesters, they were a bit on the crazy side, but it was interesting to hear them articulate their stance. Now that we know that our child will have man-parts, we've begun to discuss this more seriously. According to the research, there's no medical reason to circumcise. In the past, it was done for hygienic reasons, but in today's society, we're open enough that we can tell our little boys that they need to clean their penises. (Oh, and apparently you're supposed to always use the accurate terminology, penis and vagina, when talking to your kids about their genitals. And here I was ready to break out the countless slang terms for penis that I've learned in my 29 years...). Anyway, this is probably a lot more information than anyone wanted. We're just learning so much and confronting a new set of decisions and it's very cool to be informed.

We recently attended a baby class at the hospital that covered some of the basics: dealing with a fussy baby, cleaning a newborn, the umbilical cord, etc. It was very interesting, and enlightening in a lot of ways. Without expressing a bias, the instructor covered the facts on a lot of issues related to newborn care, and the overwhelming message seemed to be that doing things the natural way is easier. If you don't circumcise, you don't have to change a baby boy's penis dressing every time you change the diaper. If you breast feed, you don't have to burp your baby. Since I'm very much in favor of doing things the "natural" way, this was music to my ears.

It's a boy!

We've reached the half-way point of the pregnancy. While it feels like November is still a long way off, the first 4.5 months have flown by. Anyway, we had a 20 week ultrasound to make sure that the baby's organs were developing properly. While there, we had the option to find out the baby's sex. I was conflicted, but we discussed it and decided to find out.

The moment we did, any conflict evaporated. It was an amazing moment. Now, I'm sure that moment would have been equally (or even more so) amazing if we would have learned as the baby was born, but man it was cool to learn that I'm going to be the father of a little baby boy.

On the way to the ultrasound, the wife and I made our predictions. Earlier in the pregnancy, we both had a feeling that it was going to be a girl. We had a name picked out and everything. I'm not sure if it was a flash of ESP or some other sort of extra-sensory prescience, but Claire called it. I maintained my prediction of a girl and she went with a boy. We both went in with the knowledge that we might not be able to find out (baby's position can impede your ability to see whether or not there's a wiener) but luckily, our baby complied and gave us quite a shot of his wang.

We would have been overjoyed whether we were having a girl or a boy, but there's something about finding out that really makes this all seem real. Now we're starting to bond with the little dude. We get to focus on boy's names and make the room a little more masculine. Best of all, I'll get to pass on my recently rediscovered collection of Star Wars figures. It's just a shame that I'll end up raising a little nerd in my own image.

Crib

We got a great crib from my aunt. It's a classic design (Jenny Lind) and fits with the other old furniture that will be in the baby's room. The only problem is that it's yellow. On its own, that's not a problem. However, ours is the exact same yellow as the walls. It makes the crib seem a little bland. Ideally, I'd repaint it, probably white. The yellow is a thick enamel, so I'm not sure I want to tackle that project. I think we'll leave it yellow and use blankets/whatever to distinguish it from the walls.

We also got a very cool old Shaker cradle from my aunt. It's a really nice looking piece of furniture and should be handy to have downstairs. It's got steel wheels that look like they could chop a baby's fingers off without a problem. Should I be worried? Probably. Am I? We'll see once the baby arrives.

Names

Man, picking names is a tough process. It's really difficult to find names that we agree on, and almost as hard to find ones that either of us like. We've got some ideas, but we're not focusing on it too much until we know the sex, which we can find out next week. Pretty amazing.

The other tough thing about names is listening to commentary about them. Someone has a story about every name, and honestly, they're not helpful for me. "Oh, you're picking the name Ezekiel? I knew an Ezekiel who ended up a serial killer". Thanks. Seriously, very helpful.

Others do bring up good points, like making sure to pick a name that's easy to pronounce. It'll be a pain for a kid who has to constantly correct teachers, cashiers, telemarketers, etc. Another good tip: make sure to say the name out loud, and say the full name. You might like the name Bart, but when you say "Bart Garber" you feel like your mouth is full of marbles. Not cool.

Like I said, we're not worrying about it too much at this point. Once we know whether we're having a boy or a girl, it'll be easier to find the right name.

Animals

The wife and I are definitely animal people. When we first moved in together in a one-bedroom apartment in Milwaukee, we got a cat from the Humane Society. Even though I'd always had lots of pets (at one point, 10 cats and two dogs - possibly a horse), I was skeptical about having an apartment cat. As soon as the cat moved in, I realized that my doubts were silly. There were some things that were harder with a cat in an apartment - the constant desire for escape, for one - but it was worth it for the companionship.

When we were looking at houses, one of my biggest needs/wants in the places we toured was a reasonably sized yard so that we could get a dog. About a week before moving, we had been looking at rescue dogs when we stumbled across a litter of puppies on craigslist... I had some doubts about getting a dog from craigslist, but we made an appointment to see them and couldn't resist. Of course, that 8 lb puppy has turned in to an 80 lb monster.

So many people have an opinion about the coexistence of animals and babies. Most are worried about our giant dog jumping on the child, causing trauma and countless injuries. The dog is big, but she's harmless. She loves kids and is (usually) very gentle with them. If they get excited or run away, she'll chase them because she's just a puppy herself, but that's normal. I'm FAR more concerned about the cat. Our cat has a mean streak that usually comes when he's disturbed from a nap. If he's sleeping on the bed and I turn over, shifting him slightly, he'll dig his claws in to my arm. It's truly absurd. My fear is that he'll climb in to the bassinet with the baby and the baby will end up with life-altering scars.

We'll do our best to keep both animals out of the baby's room, but it's going to happen anyway. I guess all we can do is hope for the best and keep our fingers crossed that everyone can live in some semblance of harmony.